Last weekend, I was standing at my son’s soccer game when another mom came over to me and said: “Hey, if you ever need help getting W to a game, we're happy to help. We’ve got room in our car so just ask.” She has younger kids and admitted that “Someday we’ll be juggling three soccer schedules too, and I’ll be hoping someone offers the same support.”

No matter what season of work or parenting I'm here, there's a universal truth I’ve come to learn the hard way: we are not meant to do it all alone. And yet, if you're anything like the working moms I talk to, asking for help feels hard. It's not something most of us feel comfortable doing. So we opt to figure it out and do it ourselves, which often leads to exhaustion, overwhelm, and resentment.

As parents, we can get so caught up in the day-to-day tasks of caring for our kids, managing the household, and juggling work responsibilities, that we forget about our partner. We don't think or don't have time to think about how to truly connect and enjoy spending time together.

I'm sure you can think of dozens of examples of when you felt completely alone, overwhelmed, or exhausted. I'm curious if your initial instinct was to ask for help. If you're anything like I used to be, you're probably really good at thinking up excuses as to why you don't really need to bother anyone else. Instead, you suffer through the overwhelm and exhaustion on your own until things get better.

On the surface, you want more help around the house and to share more of the mental load because you have too much on your plate. And if you could get some help, you could have the space and capacity for more. More connection, more romance, more conversations, more being partners, and less being roommates. So yes, it is about who takes out the trash, who goes to the grocery store, and who picks up and drops off at daycare. But it's also about so much more than that.

Research has been done about how trying or learning new things together strengthens a relationship. It's a new shared experience where you get to see each other in new ways. And for parents, where it's all too easy to just talk about your kids, you're forced to put your attention on the experience itself. On figuring out or learning this new activity and therefore you're not talking about the kids or the logistics of life. You get to just BE together.

Any relationship that you have or that you've seen that's deep, strong, and vibrant, is the result of a lot of work behind the scenes. Good work. Fun work. Fulfilling work. But work nonetheless. Are you doing enough to cultivate the friendships you want?

Do you share a to-do list with your husband or partner? You know you can't do it all, and especially not all by yourself, but sharing responsibilities can be challenging. Sometimes I think we overcomplicate things. When someone asks me how they should share a to-do list with their husband, I ask - "how can you keep it simple?"

If you have been thinking about how to stop resenting and start loving your partner too, you're not alone. What if you started evaluating all of the other things that you do in a day? You can decide that asking for help and delegating is the fastest way to get what you ultimately want - more time and space in your days.

If you're a working mom with limited time (i.e. can't win the quantity side of the debate), you want the time that you do have when you're with your kids to be quality. You want to "make it count". This could look like something different to every mom out there. Regardless of the activity, quality time is about doing something together - being together.

How do you get out of the habit of just going through the date night motions? Of just talking about your kids and the calendar? How do you actually have fun, enjoy each other, and experience a pleasurable date? You do something different! You shake things up.

What matters is that you're present in THE moments of your life with your kids. That you appreciate life when it's good. And when it doesn't feel as good, you draw on your freeze-frame moments to get you through. Because you recognize that you will come out of it tomorrow, or next week, or next month. And there will be more freeze-frame moments.