Cultivating Strong Friendships When Life Is Busy

I've been thinking about relationships, specifically friendships, and how the good ones take way more intention than we think.

This all started after I finished reading Michelle Obama's recent book - The Light We Carry - my book club's pick for June.

While I can't say I really loved the book overall (it's hard to follow Becoming), the chapter that did leave a lasting impression was "My Kitchen Table".

After decades of cultivating deep friendships, Michelle believes:

• that strong friendships are the result of strong intentions.

• that making friends is taking a risk.

• and that too many of us believe that the passage of time equates to progress in a relationship.

Any relationship that you have or that you've seen that's deep, strong, and vibrant, is the result of a lot of work behind the scenes.

Good work. Fun work. Fulfilling work. But work nonetheless.

Are you doing enough to cultivate the friendships you want?

There's an exercise that I assign to all new coaching clients that could easily be tweaked and applied to friendships.

Here it is if you'd like to try it...

Imagine yourself as a 75 or 80-year-old woman.

Are you surrounded by close, meaningful friends?

Who is at "your kitchen table" sharing a meal, a laugh, or a cry with you?

What types of experiences with friends do you look back on and remember with a smile?

What are you most proud of when it comes to cultivating these meaningful relationships?

What do these friendships mean to you?

After you've glimpsed your "future", take time to reflect on your present.

Are you intentionally creating and cultivating those types of relationships in your life?

If not, do you want to start?

Because you still have time. You always have time.

But as Michelle said, passing time together is not the same as deepening and progressing a relationship.

For me, I can see that I have made progress in the last couple of years, but I also see lots more opportunity and just working through this vision exercise has filled me with ideas.

Some that are low-hanging fruit and easily implemented and others that will take time and may even have to wait for another season.

But my vision is there; I've got written down for safekeeping. And in the meantime, I'm going to be intentional about making progress.

I'm not waiting for it to happen or for time to pass.

I'm going to intentionally create the relationships I want. I hope you will too.

Sustaining friendships, cultivating community, and deepening the relationship you have with your husband/partner are all things my private clients and I are focused on. We know that the time is now, not when the kids are older or things get easier.

If you're feeling overwhelmed with where to start or how to fit this "work" into your already full schedule, I can help. Schedule a call with me so we can create your plan to create the life you envision.