Episode 105: Why Your Plan Isn't Actually a Plan (And the 3 Steps That Fix That)

ITUNES | SPOTIFY

You have a list. You have a calendar. But if that's where your planning stops, you're still going to hit that wall of overwhelm when a busy season (like Maycember) hits. This episode walks you through the three components that separate a real plan from good intentions and why skipping even one of them is what has you feeling behind before a busy season even begins.

  • You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.   Hello. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad to be here with you on this Tuesday. How are you doing? How are you hanging in there so far this week? , I'll give you all a quick little life update before we get into today's topic, which yes, relates to Maycember, but also just relates to. Whatever season you are heading into. Whether that resonates with you or not, I wanna talk to you about the three layers that you have to have all three of them in any successful plan. I'm excited about this one today, but before we get into that, I'm doing okay. I am, I am riding the rollercoaster. I'm sure probably many of you can relate. Days, hours that go from being up and then really down and then up again. I navigated, this very last minute international trip that my husband went on for work last week. You know, just the scrambling that happens when your week completely pivots to what we normally do to, oh, I'm doing all of the things and what needs to change and what do I need to drop and where do I need help? And so , we made it through all of that. It was so good to have him back home. He, of course, travels again this week, but luckily it's, one that we knew about and is not for as long. I am. I'm just feeling the way one does when you've been managing and holding a lot, lots of assignments coming home from school. I've got the Maycember workshop this Wednesday, which I so desperately need myself, and it's exciting and it's also a lot of preparation that goes into getting all of that ready for you projects around the house. Clothes that always seemed to be too small and I feel like, you know, put it on the list, something we need to order, go shopping for. , yeah, there's, there's just a lot of just the everyday things and we've not even really in our family at least yet, gotten into the thick of some of these very, very full chaotic calendar weeks. And I was reflecting this morning that, a few things that I'm really proud of myself for that. Help me during these weeks where I feel like I wanna wave the white flag and I could so easily just throw in the towel and opt out of all of it. The things that I stuck to that really helped me are. Getting outside to take a walk. In fact, I just got back from a 10 minute loop around my neighborhood. I have a lot to do today, but I knew I needed that. So walking makes me feel like myself. Reading, I couldn't always sit down with my Kindle like I normally do because by the time I got the kids in bed and then I needed to do a little bit more work, it just wasn't feasible, but. I have a great audio book that I'm listening to, and so having that story that I can escape to and get caught up in even just for five or 10 minutes at a time has felt really great. And then, honestly, this sounds so trivial, but. I saw this on, , an Instagram account that I just love to follow for her, just everyday motivation and comradery and, and that is painting my nails. I took time. I didn't feel like I had it, but I made the time on Saturday to put on a beautiful light lavender colored polish on my nails, and that makes me feel like myself and like I've got it together. And so. Those are the things that I did this last week that really helped me. And so if you are looking ahead at a week that is just full of so many things that you're either doing or thinking about or holding, I would challenge you to find those one, two, or three things that you know, make you feel like yourself, give you that little bit of space to decompress and make time for them. So. That felt like a little bonus, mini podcast episode. Before we get into what I actually wanna talk about today, but I just had to share that with you. We're all about being in the moment, real time here, so today I wanna talk about that three layered plan, the three components that really make a difference when you are sitting down to. Plan for whatever upcoming season you are facing. So this could be Maycember that so many of us are walking into here at the end of April, into May, and even into June. It could be just a really particularly busy week that you have coming up. It could be a season that for your family is busier than others because of celebrations and birthdays or maybe travel that you've got coming up. When you have a plan that includes these three components that we're going to talk about, you know, what is on the calendar. You go into that week, into that month, into that season, having , a good picture of what is scheduled, when you've already decided what you're going to do and what you're not going to do, what you're opting out of or saying no to. You don't have anything that is undecided, that you're still figuring out, oh, whether or not we can make that happen. No. You've made the decisions. You also know what your work projects and work capacity looks like. The things that are coming, or you are already in the midst of, you have accounted for those, and you have an idea of what is coming next, what are the next steps, the sub tasks, the communications that you need to send out. If you've got an event like say for teacher appreciation or Mother's Day or a birthday that's coming up, you have an idea of what you're going to bring to the potluck. The gift you're going to give, the card that you are going to send, who you're gonna send it to, you are not behind. You are ready. It sounds amazing, right? To be ready to not already feel like you're stepping into a season in a deficit, catching up on what just happened. So you're already running into this one feeling like you're two steps behind to feel ready. Feels so good. So I wanna tell you how you get there, what it takes, what it actually looks like to get there. Now, most of you have a list. I would really hope that you have a list. If you've listened to any number of podcasts here, you have a list. Now, some of you might still own up to having just a mental list, a mental tally of everything that needs to happen, but I really hope that at least there's a list somewhere digitally on a piece of paper in a notebook in your agenda, But a plan is different. A plan has sequence, right? The priority order of things. It has ownership. Yes, maybe because it's your list, most of those things you own, but just because you create the list doesn't mean that you have to own it all. So who owns what? And it has timing. So not only are things ins sequential or priority order, but we've also thought about when do I need to have this done by in order to feel calm going into the week or into the month or into that event. So the problem that so many of you face heading into a busy season like a Maycember isn't a lack of awareness. In fact, the awareness is, there because you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious about it, you're starting to dread it already. Oh my gosh, I just wanna get through this week. It's not an awareness problem. That dread or that anxiousness about the coming week or season that you have means that you are aware of everything that needs to happen. The problem is that that awareness. Never gets turned into action steps with dates attached. It doesn't get turned into action steps that are broken down into such small next steps that it feels silly not to do the next thing. It's the difference between I'm gonna use teacher appreciation gifts again, just 'cause it's top of mind for many of us. Which by the way. If you don't know the dates of teacher appreciation week, it happens the first full week of May. I just had to look this up for the workshop. It is May 4th through eighth, so a lot of schools will celebrate that whole week with different theme days. But maybe your goal is to just have something, even if it's a note card to your kids' teachers by Friday the eighth, you know that it's coming. You have the awareness , and , the item that sits in your head or on that list is I need to figure out teacher appreciation. Gifts I need to figure out is not an action step. So what happens is that awareness, that list item lives in your head or on the list, for weeks heading into the first week of May. Until it is the day before or the night before and you're like, oh crap, here's where the rubber meets the road. I actually need to decide what are we gonna get? How much are we gonna spend? And then I have to still go get the thing or write the card or package it all up. Whereas having a plan. Is okay. By the 28th of April, I wanna have this done 'cause I don't wanna be worrying about it heading into the week of May 4th. So first I need to research, is our school doing anything organized that I can just contribute to, yes or no? Then I'm going to block 20 or 30 minutes to make these decisions. How much do we wanna spend? What do we wanna give, and who's gonna write the card? And the deadline is the 28th, so I wanna have this done a couple of days before that, right? A plan is knowing that that is one of your top to-dos for the next week. It's not just, I need to figure it out because I need to figure it out. Does not outline that ownership, the priority and the timing. So when you think about a plan, what is a plan? It is three layers. The first one is your calendar layer. This is pulling out your family's calendar, looking at the skylight, looking at your Google or your Outlook calendar, maybe if you have a family calendar and a work one. It's having them up side by side. What is actually happening and when? Is there anything missing from my calendar? What do I need to add in here in terms of our commitments, the activities, the awareness of what is going on. Getting it all out of your head and onto a page where you can start to see the picture of the season of the week of the month that's coming up. So many of you just look at your calendar and you think that you have planned, you think because you know what's coming, that that is a plan. But there are extra steps that go into you feeling calm and prepared and truly ready for whatever week or season you're heading into. So the second layer then in a plan is the decision layer. So just because all of these things are on the calendar or just because you have this big list of tasks, doesn't mean that you have to do all of them. So in the decision layer, we look at these components and we start to decide what are you saying yes to? What are you delegating and what are you opting out of or letting go of? Now, this can be a really hard part. I'm not gonna lie. I see a lot of women have challenges with this piece. We assume that because it's on the calendar, because it's on the list, we need to do it when that is not always true. In fact, if you haven't listened to episode 1 0 2 of the podcast yet, I would encourage you after you finish this one, to go back and listen to that interview with Whitney. All about opting out, saying no, and reminding ourselves that things can wait. So this decision layer piece is actually a huge part of the Ember Made Easy workshop because I know it's a challenge. I know that it can be hard for some of you to say no. Maybe you're really good at saying no to extra work at work, but you have a hard time saying no. When the teacher asks for a volunteer or your kid wants you to come as a chaperone on the field trip, or vice versa, maybe you have no problem opting out of school things, but it is really hard for you to say no to that colleague who wants your help on this project. Knowing what all is happening on your calendar and going on in this busy season that you're stepping into can help you then filter through those potential commitments, those potential tasks, to decide again, what are you saying yes to and choosing? What are you delegating? What are you maybe putting onto the back burner? Because it's not truly a priority right now. It feels like it is, but given everything else, we can put it back for another week. And then what are you opting out of or what are you letting go of Now? The third layer to a really effective plan is the energy layer. So you know what's happening. You know what you're saying yes to. You've made those decisions. Now you wanna plan around your capacity, not just your commitments. So for example. I know for me personally, whenever I have a workshop, a talk, something that I am teaching in a week, that after that happens, I am gonna have much less energy, and that is really important for me to know. So for this week, heading into my Maycember made easy workshop on Wednesday. If you haven't registered yet, please, please get your ticket. I would love to see you there. I know that for Wednesday evening, for example, we need an easy meal for that night. I am not gonna have a ton of energy to stand in the kitchen and cook and get everybody where they need to in the evening. Maybe you have a big work deadline that's coming up in the next couple of weeks, or you can see as you look ahead at Maycember that there is that one week where everything hits at once. It is so valuable to know that heading into a season or into a calendar month so that you can protect yourself. Just as I was saying at the beginning of this, , it was very important for me to have my walks and to have my reading and to have my nails painted. Knowing what those things are for you and then making sure you prioritize them on the weeks where your energy has the potential to really dip is going to be so important. This energy layer can also help fuel further decisions. Maybe you weren't sure whether to say yes or no, but when you consider your energy and whether or not you'll have enough capacity to take that on or to follow through on that project or to say yes to that commitment, maybe that helps you decide to say no. Most plans, rarely get out of the list phase, but if they make it to the calendar layer, it stops there when what you really need to be successful is not just the calendar, but also the decision layer and the energy layer. The workshop on Wednesday goes into all three of these. So even if Maycember doesn't necessarily resonate with you, it's not quite the season that you're in, or you feel like you're already in it, you will have another busy season. I guarantee it. We all do. They're not all the same for all of us. I get that. The strategy, the plan, the steps that we're walking through in this workshop, though, could be helpful to you to apply to whatever your version of Maycember is. The other piece that I wanna mention is to think to what comes immediately after. So often I will see women who get their plan in place for this next week. It's one of those high density, high volume weeks or this month that is just gonna be full on with travel and deadlines and activities. And there's so focused on just getting through that month or that week that they forget to look at what comes immediately after. For example, Maycember doesn't end on June 1st. It actually transitions directly into, for so many of us the summer schedule, chaos. Camp forms that we need to get sent in, physicals that our pediatricians need to sign, weeks where maybe we have a gap in childcare coverage, PTO requests, vacation planning. How are we going to manage our kids' boredom as they transition out of this very structured season into what can be an unstructured season? It is a second wave that comes right after a very busy season. And so planning for May without planning the bridge to summer, it's like packing for a trip, but not really planning how you're gonna get to the airport. So in the workbook for the workshop. There is a summer transition section specifically for this handoff because it is not enough to just look at the busy season. We need to also be prepared for what is next, now, maybe you're feeling really motivated. You hear the three layers that you need. You're like, yes, I can do this. I can go beyond just a mental tally of things I need to do, and just looking at the calendar, I'm gonna make decisions and I'm gonna consider my energy and my capacity as well. I'm gonna sit down. And plan this out. And then something comes up and you get a call from a client or your kid has a total meltdown, or, , something happens with a car and you have to take it in. It's not a willpower problem for so many of you to actually do a plan in this thorough, intentional way. It happens to me too. The problem is actually an accountability and structure problem, knowing exactly what to do or how to do it if you've not planned in this way before. Part of the reason that I offer these seasonal planning workshops is honestly because I need that accountability too. I need and want to come into a room virtual or in person, with other working women who get it, who know that if we didn't sign up for something like this, it would be really hard to set aside time to give ourselves permission to prioritize this. Of course, I would love to see you there. I would love to provide that structure, that framework, that accountability for you, but even on your own, just to know , that it is challenging to prioritize. It is up to you to see this work of planning in this way as valuable enough to really put the time and the energy and into it. So this is your last call to come plan in a room with other working moms, to have the framework to give yourself that accountability and structured, focused time. Maycember made easy is happening. Tomorrow, if you're listening to this in real time, it's happening on April 22nd at 12 noon Eastern, we are spending 90 minutes together. You'll have a workbook in your hands. We are going to go through these layers to create an actual plan, not a list, not just good intentions, not just a calendar, but a plan. And I know the 90 minutes feels like a lot right now, trust me, I get it. But if you think about how much time and energy you spend managing the chaos of a season like Maycember that you weren't prepared for, I think you'll find that this trade off is one that actually makes sense. So you can get your ticket at themothernurture.com/maycember, M-A-Y-C-E-M-B-E-R. The workshop is just $9, and that includes the live 90 minutes, the 20 plus page workbook that has everything you would need and more, plus the replay for. Watching or catching up on it later or revisiting certain sections, I would really love to plan with you. Come be my accountability buddy, as we think through this upcoming season or whatever that next chaotic and really dense season is for you. These steps will apply then remember that your three part plan includes. Your calendar layer, your decision layer, and your energy layer. It's like a three layer cake. How lovely and beautiful is that? Alright, I will hopefully see some of you tomorrow in the workshop and for everyone else, I will talk to you next week in another episode of the podcast. Until then, take care. Thank you for listening and as always, for being a part of this working mom community. You can find everything related to this episode in the show notes at themothernurture.com/podcast, you can also find information about how I support working moms just like you through one-on-one, and group coaching, as well as access a number of resources and articles all on my website at themothernurture.com. I will see you again next week for another episode of the podcast.

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PlanningKatelyn DenningWorking Mom, maycember, planning