How to Make Sustainable Changes that Will Change Your Life
Last week, I did something I've never done before...
I went to see a movie, by myself, in the middle of the workday!
You might be thinking - that's awesome! Good for you! or how fun!
But let me tell you, it didn't feel great. Not at first.
In fact, for the first half hour or so, I felt anxious and uncomfortable AF.
I kept looking around, worried that I was going to get caught. That the "work police" were going to call me out for "cheating".
Seeing a movie in the middle of a Monday is not what responsible, busy, working moms do!
I should have been sitting at my desk doing all the things on my to-do list, or taking care of things around the house and for the family.
But there I was, in a cushy movie theater chair, munching on buttery popcorn, watching Barbie.
I had to keep reminding myself that those awkward, uncomfortable, anxious feelings were exactly WHY I was there in the first place.
You see, last week was the one-year anniversary of me leaving my corporate career to work full-time as a life coach.
And it was brought to my attention recently, that in this last year, I've continued to operate my day-to-day life as if I'm still an employee.
Sitting at my desk during business hours. Only stepping away for appointments that I could "justify" (dentist, haircut, doctor, therapy, etc.).
And that to truly feel like a CEO, a woman who runs her own business and sets her own rules, I needed to do something I would never have done as an employee.
So going to the movies on a Monday was not something I decided on a whim. No. It was self-assigned homework.
Now, I know from assigning homework to my clients that anytime you do something new and slightly outside your comfort zone, it feels crappy. At least at first.
Doing something outside your comfort zone feels uncomfortable, cringey, and sometimes even "wrong".
That actually means it's working!
But too many of you quit because you think that means you're doing something wrong.
You throw up your hands and say, "well I knew this wasn't a good idea!".
If it was, you'd love it. You'd sink into the chair, wait for the movie to start, and devour your popcorn with a silly grin on your face, loving every minute.
But that's not how it works.
The reality is that doing things that stretch you, rarely feels good at first. But that doesn't mean you stop.
It means you sit with the discomfort knowing that this is exactly how it's supposed to feel. Nothing has gone wrong. It WORKING!
So when I'm trying to help a client break a habit, make a change, and stretch themselves into a new self-concept, I assign small, but uncomfortable homework challenges.
Challenges like:
Not vacuuming the floors before you go to bed just to prove to yourself that you don't HAVE to do it each and every night if you don't want to.
Asking your husband to make dinner one night and NOT going in to micro-manage him but trusting that he's capable of cooking without you and whatever he puts on the table will be just fine for one night.
Sitting down to read a book for 10 minutes even though you haven't finished your chore list. Choosing to read despite the unfinished tasks around you.
Leaving that Teams message unanswered for a full 15 minutes just to prove that not everything requires an immediate response.
These are not huge asks. I would never assign a homework assignment like quitting your job (that took me years to commit to), traveling for a weekend away before you're ready, or turning down a project or commitment.
You have to start small and work your way up to the bigger things.
One dinner, one chore left undone, 10 minutes of reading. Small enough to feel like you can do them without dying, but still outside your comfort zone enough to feel, well, uncomfortable!
Homework challenges are about stretching you. About making 1-2% shifts that, over time, will grow to bigger and bigger changes, if you want that. It's always optional.
I could have walked out of that movie theater 15 minutes in if I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't stand it.
But I also knew that the discomfort was a part of the process and so I decided to sit through it and see what I learned on the other side.
I wanted to prove that I can do things that are new, and yes, a little scary.
(Even if using the word scary feels silly now, especially when I'm talking about seeing Barbie!)
But for me it was! And that's ok.
I did it. I made a small change that's now opened me up to thinking about what else might be possible.
What's possible for you is sitting on the other side of a small, uncomfortable challenge.
Are you ready to sit with the discomfort to feel what's on the other side?
I'd love to help you come up with your next challenge.
When you're ready, book a consult call so we can determine where you are, what you want to change, and the small challenges you can start making now that will build into the bigger life changes you never thought would be possible for you (but totally are!).
Oh, and go see Barbie if you haven't already ;)