Episode 95: Stop Delegating Tasks. Start Delegating Decisions.
ITUNES | SPOTIFY
You’re told to delegate more when you’re overwhelmed, especially as working moms. But handing off tasks isn’t the real solution. In this episode, we unpack the difference between delegating tasks and delegating decisions—and why the latter is the key to reclaiming your time and energy. This is mental load liberation! Whether at home or in your business, this shift will change everything.
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
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And get things done. Even when your days don't go according to plan, you'll start seeing changes in the first 30 days. No more racing the clock or squeezing more into your day. Just more time for what matters most. Your work, your family, and you. Applications are open now, but only until February 10th. Go to themothernurture.com/beyond-balance to apply.
That's themothernurture.com/beyond-balance. Now, let's get into the episode.
You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.
Hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. This is episode 95, and today I wanna talk to you about delegating. It's something we, as working moms get told to do. A lot. You have too much on your plate. Well, what are you delegating?
You feeling tired, like you don't have enough time? Can you delegate more? What can you delegate? Delegate, delegate.
Actually, we're coming up on Valentine's Day at the time of recording this episode, and I'm thinking about a social post that I usually share around this time of year, all about the concept. Delegate it, drop it, or do it with love.
If we agree that there is too much for us to do, especially on our own, never enough time. We have to learn to let go of some things. We have to learn to delegate some things or we decide to own the things that we're going to keep right to choose that we're doing them instead of telling yourself that you have to do it.
But I want to dig into that delegating piece today because you might think I already delegate a lot. I'm not sure what else I would delegate. At this point. I've delegated everything that I can. I've passed it off. I've enlisted help, I've outsourced, and yet I'm still overwhelmed. I feel like the mental load is as heavy as ever.
I know I've had that thought before. I already delegate. My husband does so much, or my team does so much already. And so I wanna tell you a little story about something that happened in a coaching session last week that. Just reminded me and lit a fire under me to to come here and record this episode for you today because this is something I think that so many of you are missing.
So this client that I was coaching last week, she is a manager. She has a team of people who report to her. So much of our coaching the past few months has been around getting her to step out of or extricate herself from the weeds, the task work, the doing, and to step more into a leadership position. A true manager.
And strategic work because that's where she really shines. She has such a vision and the C-Suite recognizes that. But in order to give her the space and time to really leverage what she is so good at, we have to get her out of the weeds. So she's been doing a lot of work to train and empower her team to set boundaries with coworkers who come to her or are used to coming to her for everything because she knows everything and instead sending them to the right person or to the right resource, not doing everything for everyone else, instead teaching them to fish.
Right? It's the whole teach them to fish instead of just fishing for them. And she has made huge strides, but she was still feeling stretched, still feeling like even with all of this work, there's still not enough time for those bigger picture things that she knows she needs to be doing. And so I asked her, when you're delegating to your team, when you are sending tasks their way.
Are you delegating the task or are you also delegating the decision?
Let me explain what I mean. Delegating the task is telling someone to go do, here's this thing I need you to do. Please go execute on it. Here's the next step, or here's what needs to be done. Take care of it. Notice I didn't say, can you take care of it? We would say, I need you to take care of it. This is my expectation.
But when you delegate the task, the execution of the task, most times, that is the easiest part. It might require time, it might require energy. Of course. It is easier because all you have to do is just follow the steps, do the work, talk to so and so, follow through. The part that takes the most mental energy.
That requires thinking and considering all of the different people and the dates and the factors at play is the decision. Should we even do this project? Who should lead it? What's an appropriate timeline? How does this align with our vision? Is this going to conflict with something else that we're doing?
How do we go about this?
If you have to make decisions like this at work or at home, you know the mental gymnastics that's required this. Is where the real heavy lifting is. And the same is true at home. Cooking dinner is easy when all of the ingredients are in the house, and you know what meal to make. It's the choosing of the meal that's harder.
You have to look at the calendar. You need to figure out who needs to be where, when, and how much time do we actually have to cook and get dinner on the table. You have to check the pantry to see what ingredients you already have and what you need. You have to look through the recipe book. You have to take into consideration whether your kids are eating soup this week or if they change their mind.
You have to think about when did we last eat it? Is it too repetitive? Should we space it out more? I would gladly take the execution over that. We're having broccoli cheddar soup tonight. Great. Let me just grab the broccoli and the cheese and the stock and whatever else I need and stand here in the kitchen.
Yes, it takes my time. But it's not as mentally taxing. In fact, I love to listen to an audio book and have a mug of tea while I'm cooking.
But what happens when you are told to delegate is you just think about that execution. You think, okay, yeah, let me have someone else cook the dinner. That would save me time, or let me have someone else make that phone call or finish this spreadsheet because that will save me time and it will,
but it's not going to alleviate the mental load.
When you look at your list at all of the work tasks that you have coming up or all of the things going on at home, and you ask your partner to order the Valentine's for class or to schedule the appointment or research the trip, are you delegating all of it? The decision too? Or are you giving the answers and just asking them to do the final step of adding to cart or checking the flight prices or making the phone call?
Are you delegating a project to your team and telling them to decide on the plan, the timeline, the budget, or are you just telling them to execute on what you've already decided?
In Fair Play, which I know I haven't talked about a ton. Here on the podcast, I'll put a link to all things Fair Play if it's new to you. I think a lot of you are familiar at least with the book or the cards or the documentary maybe. It is a, a concept, a framework for highlighting the mental load and taking steps to share it in a more equitable way.
I happen to be a trained facilitator in the fair play method. I bring a lot of that into my coaching, but to support this idea of the difference between delegating a task and delegating a decision, I wanna use a fair play concept. So in the fair play method, there are three steps to each task.
There's conception, there's planning and execution. So conception is the thinking of the task in the first place. Noticing that. Valentine's Day is coming up and thinking about what you need to be prepared for it. Noticing that the household is getting low on toilet paper, and then planning to get more and actually getting more.
. The planning, the. Is more of the research phase, I would say, right? In the case of Valentine's Day coming up, how many kids are in your kids' class? What's your budget for purchasing cards? What style does your son or daughter want? , are treats allowed? Do you maybe need to communicate with the teacher to get a class list or understand the rules?
It's gathering all of the information to then be able to. Execute to do the thing, buying the Valentine's, assembling the Valentine's, baking the cookies, getting the treat, packing it all up on the morning of the party and making sure that it gets to school or daycare with your kid. So three steps, and I would argue that it's the first two.
The conception and the planning that add the most to our mental load. But when we think of delegating and what we've seen or heard about delegating, we jump to the execution part in so many situations. We just delegate the last piece, and then we wonder why we're still stretched so thin. It's because your mental load isn't any lighter.
You might have a little bit more time because you're not assembling the Valentine's or you're not cooking the dinner, but you have no more energy 'cause your energy is still being sucked into doing all of the planning and the deciding. So the next time there's a project or a task that you want to delegate to a team member.
Think about the decisions that go into that project, and can you empower your team to own that too?
Maybe they make a decision recommendation if they can't fully own the decision itself. Even that would be a huge step and save you energy. Or the next time there's a family admin task on the list. Think about delegating those earlier steps. Delegate the decision, not just the execution. We make so many decisions as it is, we're never going to get rid of all of the decisions on our plate each day, but it is time to think about sharing that load, the load of deciding and planning.
That's where we stand to gain the most. With our time, with our energy, with our mental load, there is an entire module on decision making and beyond balance. My group program for working moms because decision fatigue is real and it's a time cost too. So many of you are spending too much time and energy making decisions, revisiting decisions that you've already made and researching decisions
you need to recognize that that is happening and practice making faster, more confident decisions because that's where you gain time. But we also learn how to delegate decisions, not just tasks. With my fair play training, I weave in sharing household and work responsibilities more equitably into everything that I teach.
You can bet that if there's an opportunity to set minimum standards and think about the conception planning and execution of these tasks, I'm going to address it with you and give you the tools that you need to make changes to make improvements,
enrollment for Beyond Balance closes tonight. If you've been thinking about the group at all, I encourage you to at least submit an application. You're not committing to anything at that point. You're just saying, I'd like to know if this is for me and I want more information so that I can, that decision, I can even coach you on how to make that decision faster and more confidently.
You can do themothernurture.com/interest to get your application in before tonight. Remember, delegating the execution of a task is not the same as delegating the decision. Notice the difference, and then look for opportunities to delegate more of the mental load, not just the tasks.
All right, if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. Send me an email or a DM on Instagram @LoveMother Nurture, and until the next episode, I hope you take care. Talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for listening and as always, for being a part of this Working Mom community. You can find everything related to this episode in the show notes at themothernurture.com/podcast. And don't forget enrollment for Beyond Balance,
my group coaching program for working moms who want to go from feeling constantly behind to having plenty of time is open, but only until February 10th. Head to themothernurture.com/interest to fill out your application today. Again, that's themothernurture.com/interest. I would love to have you join
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