When You're Just Not Okay

How are you feeling this week? Today? Right now?

It's ok if you're not ok.

Grappling with so many unknowns is hard and feels just plain heavy. It's hard to focus on the task at hand when your mind is worrying about illnesses and childcare and school closings.

So if you're feeling a bit anxious, if stress feels like a constant right now,

If having so many unknowns has you worried, here's what I'm trying so that I can take care of myself and my family. Things that are helping me to manage things. Not to eliminate the stress, the anxiety, or the worry (I'll be honest, I don't know if that's possible), but to help me keep some perspective.

At the end of the day, I still have a job to do. I still have kids to care for and the last thing I want is for them to take on my anxiety. So the best I can do is try to manage my own.

Remember, you're not alone

Just a couple of months ago when my family was constantly sick, I felt like we were the only ones stuck inside managing fevers, stomach bugs, and colds, and it felt lonely and isolating. When I talked to another mom of school-aged kids and she shared the list of illnesses they had been battling, I felt so much relief. Just to know that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't doing anything "wrong", and that it was hard for someone else, made me feel so much better. So if you've not heard it yet, hear it from me. You are not alone! We are all going through this together.

Go back to basics

In seasons where I don't feel ok or when things feel out of control, I go back to basics. I focus on getting sleep when and where I can. I drink my water. I take my vitamins. And I walk, or stretch, or dance, or move my body as much as I can. It might be just one down dog or a quick shoulder roll. It might be 5 minutes on my stationary bike. It could be just a walk around the block. I don't overthink it - I just move. You've heard the saying to control what you can control? Well, water, sleep, and movement are easy places to start, and they will almost certainly help you feel better.

Don't "live" through it twice

I remember coming to this realization years ago when my Mom was sick and I was worried about making it through the grief. A friend pointed out to me that it was not worth grieving twice, should anything bad happen. (It didn't, by the way. She's doing great 4 years later!). So I've tried to remember that. I can create stories in my head and "live" through worst-case scenarios now and AGAIN if my fears come true. But why would I want to do that to myself? Why live through it twice - once in your mind and once in reality? I guess this is really just a reminder to be in the present moment instead of already in a future that none of us can predict.

It's ok to unplug

If the news, the gossip, and the facebook groups are all too much for you and your stress levels, you have my permission to unplug. Be informed just to the point of knowing what you need to know to function, but then do what is best for you and safeguard your mental well-being if needed. It's ok to watch a light-hearted TV show, or to want to do something fun to forget about all of the seriousness. It's what our kids want from us, and we should want that for ourselves too. Do what's best for you, even if that means not being the most informed person in the room.

Find something to appreciate

I get it that it probably feels really hard, not to mention fake, to appreciate the illnesses, the closures, or whatever else is not going well in your life. So when I say "find something to appreciate", I mean the simple things... like your coffee, like Disney plus to entertain your kids, like the sun finally shining after days of gloom. You can appreciate completely small and completely unrelated things in your life. When you appreciate something, anything, it reminds you that there are still good things in your life. And that energy is infectious. This right here is the one I am MOST focused on right now, in case you were wondering.

You are capable. You may not know exactly how to solve the lack of childcare, the changing rules, the virtual school, but you are capable of figuring it out. You may not have the answers right now, but you have friends and resources, you have me, to help you figure things out. You are a Mom after all. If you can figure that out, you sure as heck can figure this out.

We have such an amazing community here and I am so grateful to know that we are not alone.