Episode 87: The Lie That Keeps Working Moms Stuck in Survival Mode
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Have you ever thought that this is just how it is to be a working mom? That you're tired, stressed, and always one step behind. You're not alone if you have. It's a belief that's pretty widespread. But what if that’s just a lie that’s keeping you stuck?
In this episode, I'm calling out the quiet resignation so many working moms carry—the belief that feeling behind, overwhelmed, and constantly in catch-up mode is just part of the job. I’m sharing the real reason this mindset is so dangerous, how it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and what’s actually possible when you stop accepting “this is just how it is” as truth.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this really it?”—this one’s for you.
➡️ Plus, you can learn how to get out of catch-up mode for good in my upcoming free class Plan It, Do It, Done—designed to help working moms finally feel on top of things without burning out. Sign up at themothernurture.com/class
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
Register for my FREE class - Plan It, Do It, Done: 3 Simple Steps for Working Moms to Feel Like They're on Top of Work & Life
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Do you feel like no matter how much you do each day, you can never get caught up? If you're anything like my clients and a lot of the listeners I've been talking to, I'm guessing your answer is yes. You live with this nagging feeling that you are behind. If you could just get some time to get organized, get caught up, you'd finally feel like you were on top of things and that would feel so good.
But whether you have a newborn, toddler, or teenager. Large blocks of time like that are hard to come by, and there's always more to do. You need to be able to get things done now without waiting for more time. If that resonates with you, I want to invite you to a brand new training I'm offering called Plan It.
Do It. Done three simple steps for working moms to finally feel like they're on top of things at work and at home. During this class, I'm gonna walk you through exactly how to get organized, how to focus, and how to finally get things done so you can get out of catchup mode for good. It's happening on Thursday, January 29th at 12 noon Eastern, 9:00 AM Pacific.
Head to themothernurture.com/class to register today. Again, that's themothernurture.com/class. I can't wait to see you there.
You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode. .
Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I hope you're doing well this week. I am gonna get right into the topic today without much preamble or chit chat at the beginning because I'm feeling a little fired up over this sentiment that I wanna talk about here with you today.
I'm wondering if any of you have ever told yourself that this is just how it is as a working mom. Maybe you've scaled it back from that and just told yourself that this is just the season that I'm in. I read and see this sentiment a lot on a lot of mommy social media platforms, and I use the word mommy very intentionally.
That is not a word that you'll hear me use over here and, and honestly, I think this sentiment that this is just how it is, is also perpetuated in real life conversations every day. This is just how it is. You'll never get caught up. You'll always feel behind. You'll always be forgetting something.
Scrambling to finish something, just trying to keep up. What if that is the lie that is keeping you stuck where you are? Sit with that for a minute. I know it might be an uncomfortable question to ponder. In coaching sessions with my clients, I ask challenging, sometimes confronting questions. Questions that I often don't have the answers to myself, but questions that I think are worth considering are worth exploring questions that offer you the opportunity to think about something from a different perspective to wonder.
Hmm. Could that be, is that possible? Regardless of what the answer is? So could it be that this idea that this is just a part of having kids, of being a working mom, could it be that that's not true?
What if it's not normal or expected or the way that it is or has to be. I was talking with a client last week. We were recording actually an interview for an upcoming episode of the podcast. I am so excited for you to hear this one. And she was telling me how this is the sentiment or underlying belief in her circle of friends and family, that when you become a mom, you become this frazzled, stressed, tired version of yourself, and especially if you try to work in addition to parenting.
There are so many memes and graphics and parodies and videos that exist out there depicting exactly this visual
And in her circle. Everyone says that there is not much you can do about it. The advice is to just accept it. It'll pass when the kids are older, when they've grown up, when they're out in the world on their own. Then you will get your time back. Then you won't have to be like this anymore if you don't want to be. Now, I don't wanna spoil that future episode for you, but she goes on to describe how she just had this feeling or this question in her mind. I am gesturing to my chest. I wanna say like in her body, in her gut, of wondering if that was really true, especially if you're a first time parent.
It's all new to you. We've all been there. It's new and you don't know what is normal. And, and so I can see how it would be really easy to see this narrative portrayed in, in all of the places you're getting your information and to think, well, okay, wow, I, I didn't realize this before, but I guess this is how it is.
And she is a first time mom herself and describes wondering again, is this really how it is? I had no idea. And wondering if she was just resigned two years ahead of feeling this way of feeling tired, stressed, anxious overall, just feeling like she wasn't doing enough each day. Because if she were doing enough, she would get through her list.
She would feel caught up. And I think ultimately what any of us are looking for when we say. I just wanna get caught up.
I don't wanna feel behind anymore, or I wanna feel on top of things. It's that we want to be able to focus on other things. When you feel buried by your to-dos by all the chores, by the projects and the deadlines. That is the majority of what you spend your time thinking about. It is what you spend your time doing.
Whenever you have a minute, let me do one more thing. Let me try to cross something else off the list. Let me see if I can get caught up. You're always thinking about how and where and when you're going to take care of these things. How will it get done? It's exhausting.
If that has only ever been your experience, and then it is validated or reinforced by what you see on social media or how other moms talk when they're chatting at pickup, or it's what your family says has been their experience or your friends, well then that must be how it is. But here's the danger in believing that story.
Because believing that this is just how it is can lead to inaction. It keeps you stuck doing the same things the same way you've always done them, because why bother making a change? You assume that everybody else must have tried something different and didn't work for them. They're right where you are.
Plus your energy, your time is already limited. Maybe , you think you don't have it in you to try to change something that's not going to change,
so you don't seek support. You don't even raise the question. You don't try something new, and you certainly don't believe that change is possible because again, you don't see it anywhere or you don't see it in anyone who's like you. Maybe you see it in celebrities or influencers and we just assume, or I assume, I guess, I don't know.
Maybe I shouldn't assume, but, but I do that they have tons of help and that's what money can buy for you, is outsourcing all of these things, getting other people to take care of the things so you don't have as much on your plate and therefore you don't have to feel like you're behind.
You stay with things as they are just like everyone else around you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Representation does matter. We know this in lots of other contexts, what you see and hear matters. And if your feed or your community is full of stressed out, resentful, tired, working moms, then it's going to be really hard to believe that any other version is possible that you could do anything to change that.
What makes you special or different,
but what if you're not behind? You're a mom or more specifically a working mom, but you're operating in a system and with tools that weren't designed or built for you as a working mom,
from my vantage point, I see plenty of working moms who don't fit that earlier description. I see women who are getting things done. Who are relaxing, who are building community, who are achieving their professional goals, and even their personal ones. Women who are finding time to rest, to play, to have fun.
They're not caught up or on top of things. 365 days a year. I am not going to lie to you here. If they were caught up every day of the year, well then they would be a robot. I don't think that's what any of us are aiming for. We are realistic. I hope if you're here listening to me and you resonate with the message of this podcast.
We are not robots, but these women that I see, they are not constantly behind. There's a difference. They have seasons, days, weeks. Where they feel good about what they are getting done, where they feel like they've done more than enough where they have energy and space and time.
There are so many tools and strategies and hacks out there. I know a lot of you who listen to this podcast. Enjoy self-help and productivity hacks and, and reading and learning about different ways to manage your time and your schedule , and all of that, and lots of those strategies out there and tools out there.
A lot of them do work and most of them need to be adapted to work for working moms. If they don't come out of the box ready to use and ready to work for you,
but even though almost all of them do work with the right adaptations. If you don't believe that it's possible to be a mom, to have a career, raise a family without constantly feeling behind or like you're trying to catch up on your massive to-do list, then none of them will work.
None of them will change things.
You have to believe that there's a different way to do things. You have to believe that you can have a life outside of work and parenting and task management. You have to believe that you don't have to wait for the kids to grow up, to stop feeling this way.
You can have it now if you want. I've been hearing this theme over and over again from so many of you. You just want to get caught up. You just wanna feel like you are organized or like you're on top of things.
You just wanna know how, how do I do that with work and life and parenting? Like I said, there are. So many tools and hacks and strategies that work, and we have to adapt them for the unique experience that is working and parenting. There's no way around it. It is unique, and if you haven't lived that, if you don't know how to take those tools and fit them into the constraints of the roles that we hold, well then they're not gonna work for you.
Now this is exactly what I am teaching in my brand new free class called Plan It Do It Done. It was inspired by the many conversations that I've had with working moms who want to know how, how do I get caught up for good? How do I feel like I am on top of things? And so. I'm putting together some of those
adapted strategies, the three high level steps that I follow each day to help me get things done, get enough done. So for all of you listening who want to get out of Catchup mode for good, this class is for you. You can sign up at themothernurture.com/class. Registration just opened up yesterday, so there's still plenty of time.
I'll be teaching it live on January 29th at 12 noon Eastern. I would so love to see you there, and in the meantime, I hope that you challenge that belief, that story, that this is just how it is. When you are a working mom, it is possible for things to be different and you don't have to wait.
Thank you for listening and as always, for being a part of this working mom community. You can find everything related to this episode in the show notes at themothernurture.com/podcast. And don't forget, if you're not signed up for my brand new class, plan It Do It Done three simple steps to help you finally feel on top of work and life.
You can head to themothernurture.com/class to register today. It's happening on Thursday, January 29th, and I really hope I'll see you there. All right, I'll talk to you again soon in another episode of the podcast.
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