Episode 66: How Molly Went from “I’m Good” to “This Is Even Better”

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When Molly joined Beyond Balance, she already felt pretty on top of her time—organized, methodical, and definitely not in crisis mode. But a few small shifts have made her days feel even better. In this episode, you’ll hear how she went from rigid schedules and list overload to a more flexible approach with “snack-sized” to-dos and energy cycle planning. She's even learned to embrace interruptible tasks and can get a project started, even if she only has five minutes. If you’ve ever wondered how to make a good system even better, you'll want to hear Molly's story.

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      You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

      Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I am joined today by my client, Molly, who is a member of Beyond Balance,

     and I love her story so much because I.

    It highlights that things in your life do not have to be completely falling apart. You don't have to be like that meme sitting in the middle of a fire, your life going up in flames around you for you to feel like you need or deserve support.

    What is the saying? You don't have to be drowning to want a life raft. Sometimes you just want to float, not because you need to, not because you couldn't swim yourself to shore, but because it's more relaxing or it feels better that way. Well, when Molly first joined the program, she already felt pretty on top of things.

    She was and is organized. She's very methodical in how she plans out and maps out her time. She certainly always gets what needs to get done, done, but she just wondered maybe there's something else and. The story that she shares in our conversation is exactly that. How she went from things are good to wow.

    Things are even better with a series of small shifts, a couple of aha moments that she had in the group and. Slowly challenging herself to move from black and white thinking to a more flexible approach that is embracing the gray space in her days.

    It's really fun to listen to someone who. Again, knows that things are good, but what if they could be better?

    So without further ado, I will let you enjoy this super fun conversation with Molly. I.

     Hi Molly. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast. I'm excited to talk with you. Same here. So as we get started with the conversation, helpful for everybody probably to just hear a little bit about you, what life is like, what you do for work. So anything that you wanna share to introduce yourself.

    So my name's Molly and I am a full-time working mom. I am an operations manager at a marketing agency. , I work remotely, as does my husband. So we're both kind of sharing our, , house as our corporate office. , and then we've got a two year-old daughter and a 8-year-old dog. So, , busy but pretty manageable, which is nice.

    When you paused, you said 8-year-old. And for a second I was like, how did I not know she had do this? And then you said, dog, a coach. Our other coach, our fur baby. Yeah. Which is another thing that takes up time, right? Yes. When you think about everything you have to do in a week. So actually the

    mental energy of giving him a time and attention and

    yeah,

    when you're busy with everything else, that feels more important.

    Absolutely. . So Molly and I have actually done a little bit of work together, previously, maybe a year or so ago, and now she is in the current cohort of Beyond Balance. And so maybe to get us started, Molly, I'd love to hear, , what were things like before you joined the group, or what were you hoping to learn, , when you reached out about potentially joining Beyond Balance?

    Yeah, it was kind of a funny timing for me because I feel like when I joined, , I had a pretty good hold on, things like my schedule was kind of evening out.

    , our routines were getting stronger, our daughter was getting older, so she was a little bit more capable. And, , I kind of went into it a little concerned that I wouldn't have enough of a challenge to address. , but on the flip side, I am one of those people who just obsessively. Educates herself around time management and optimizing your productivity and things like that.

    So I'm always kind of intrigued to figure out like, what am I, what do I not know? What can I learn from others? So I kind of knew that there was gonna be some opportunity for, , learnings or like nuggets that I hadn't thought of, even if in my mind I thought my days were working well. And, I would say that's definitely happened and I think the challenge that I.

    Felt most when I started kind of working through, , the program and with the group was this like idea around black and white thinking around my time. And, I would tell myself, I can really only be productive when my daughter's in daycare or after she goes to bed and didn't really think about the other times during my day where lunch is heating up in the microwave, I have time to go, unload the dishwasher or what can I do in the mornings when I wake up waiting for my daughter to wake up?

    . Before she goes to daycare. So there were all these like pockets of time that I just wasn't really accounting for because I like to have it in my schedule and I want to be completely clear of any other disturbances. , and I think trying to get over that again, that black and white thinking was the big thing that came out of this.

    . I'm so glad you said that because I had a very similar thought as well when we finished our one-on-one work, , I felt like you were in , a pretty good place and you are. I would also describe you as someone who seems very organized. You are very methodical in the way that you look at your calendar and consider your tasks.

    You're very responsive. I just picture you as someone, you know, if we were still in the days of having a clipboard, you would just be like, check, check, check all day long, just getting things done. And so. I love that example that sometimes an experience like this can appeal even to those of us who already feel like I have a pretty good handle on things.

    My life isn't burning down around me. I'm not so overwhelmed or feel like I am drowning in things, but I am curious if I could optimize or make things even better.

    Yeah, and I think one example of this was , , I have all my tasks or I had them all organized in Trello and then was also using my calendar as more of like my daily agenda of everything I needed to get done.

    But I was spending a lot of time looking at my Trello and looking at my to-do list and rearranging it and moving things around and not really doing anything, , but feeling productive because I was really looking at it over and over again. . And you had the great idea of pulling out those five to 10 minute tasks or like snackable or snack size tasks, however you call them.

    Yeah. Um, kind of pulling those out. And I ended up putting, the longer tasks that maybe are more than 15 minutes in my calendar, knowing like, okay, they have a time and a place to get done. And then storing those really quick tasks for like giving the dog his vitamins, watering my houseplant.

    , those could happen at any point in the day if I had an extra five minutes. And that just helped. 'cause then I could. Put those in a separate like little sticky note or, notepad, close out my Trello and just know I'm gonna look at my calendar all day long and then if I have a couple minutes, look over there.

    But it just helped me focus during the day and take out that feeling of busyness without getting anything done.

    Yeah, I think that's so common for those of us, and I put myself in this bucket, or for anybody else listening who . Feels the same way. If you do have a tendency to be someone who likes a good list, likes a good plan, it can feel really productive to look at rework, rewrite, reorganize your list.

    It feels like, oh, but I'm just gonna make it easier for my future self to get even more done or be even more productive, and we just forget that. The five minutes here or the five minutes there, that's time that you could also be scheduling that appointment or processing that return or sending that email.

    And it's a sneaky way, right? That it costs us time. I mean, did you feel like just by not looking at the list, there was a sense of relief or I don't know, how would you describe that?

    Yeah, absolutely. For some reason it felt so much bigger when I had my list in Trello, and I think that's because I could see tomorrow and the next day and like everything that was coming, but when I put it on.

    Just a notepad. It's like three or four things. Like it's very small. And oftentimes I could get them all crossed off like before my daughter woke up in the morning if I had 30 minutes after I had gotten ready for work. So it just became so, they became so much smaller and like the mental load was so much less, and I don't know why just taking them from one format to another did that.

    But, yeah, it definitely simplified things, which felt really good.

    I think it's like. I don't have a capsule wardrobe, but I imagine if one had a capsule wardrobe that again, you're just removing the options.

    Mm-hmm.

    . Yeah. I think

    that's it. Yeah. Removing the distraction of everything else around.

    So the distraction, the small, the small list. Yeah.

    Yeah. We don't need to stare at everything. We could just stare at the three things or the five things that we have to do today , and instead of feeling. Like, wow, there's so much here. How am I ever gonna get this done? Or, oh my gosh, this week is so full.

    Mm-hmm. You see three things and you're like, oh, I got that.

    Yeah. And I think it helped even removing those little tasks from my calendar, because those tasks didn't take 15 minutes, which is really the smallest increment you can go, you know, on a digital calendar. So when I had them, more in my calendar, it looked so overwhelming because there was just.

    No time to fit it all in, but realistically, none of those I things took that much time. So it just felt better to put them somewhere else and do them kind of in those moments of like transition or just, , extra time you got if a meeting ended early. Things like that.

    Yeah, I love the category snack sized to-dos.

    I have some clients who that sort of overlaps or those tasks are also the tasks that can be done in those gray areas. Like you said, if you're moving from black and white thinking or I have to have a dedicated chunk of time to do this type of work, maybe making a quick phone call or processing, I just keep saying like doing a return from Amazon or whatever it is.

    That could be done from your phone. It could be done while you've got five minutes here. In the transitions of things, it just, those things also tend to be the types of tasks that can be fit in to little pockets of time.

    Yes, absolutely. And I think it's, and you can also do it sometimes when you're like around small children.

    Yeah. Um, and I think thinking through that a bit more too, like I had been very focused on, in the time, maybe like after work to bedtime, like I have to be 100% only focused on. , our daughter, which of course like I want to be, but we can also unload the dishwasher while she's playing in the living room.

    You know, there are some things you can do at the same time that don't feel like, you know, it's not like you're scrolling on your phone or, trying to get, really intense work done. But identifying those things too, of , what can I do while she's around to make myself feel good about where we are, not saving everything till 8:00 PM , but also still giving her, time and attention , and things like that.

    Yeah, totally. So is there anything else that you have noticed that has changed for you, maybe with regard to the black and white thinking about your schedule and tasks , or anything else?

    The other thing that came up in the program, when we were looking at like our, Calendars and routines and talking about how that can relate to like as a woman, your cycle. Mm-hmm. , and I actually read a bit about this in, , Kendra DCI's, , the plan. Yes. I think she talks about this too, and I know you're a big fan of hers. Yeah. , but it was kind of like aligning your, life, work, et cetera, with the phases of your cycle, knowing like when you'll have the most energy, when you need to kind of slow down and take it easy.

    And I had really put off that idea, thinking like. I can't just, , manipulate my whole life to around this, 28 day cycle or Right. The moon, you know, whatever. Right. , you know, it was a little woowoo in my mind who has that

    luxury.

    Right, right. And like, you know, yeah. Life has to go on people schedule things.

    And what I ended up doing, , during the group program, , I ended up getting, like, I get like hormonal migraines. So it was like one of those weeks where I just felt terrible and was thinking. I should note this somewhere so that I'm not intentionally scheduling things during that time. Like there may be things that come up that I can't move, but oftentimes I can always request that we move them or just know ahead of time, like, don't plan to do this huge project at work when you're at 50%.

    , so I've just started putting in my calendar, , like when my period is expected, knowing like, okay. Consider the week before, the week after, like how you'll feel during those times and, , you know, make some adjustments if you can. And again, it's not gonna be perfect, but I think even just having the awareness, and I think you've pointed out before, you know, during those times you get takeout or you, , put something in the crockpot, like one less thing to worry about with I'm not gonna invent this elaborate meal plan for that week.

    , or even just knowing , maybe my husband can take our daughter. Over, , one day to the pool that weekend so that I can take a nap, which I like, I never nap. So it's like, , adjusting for just some special circumstances here and there and having the foresight of knowing when you may need that.

    And I think that's been really helpful.

    Yeah. I still, I will screenshot and save your post in our community where you said, I know I kind of rolled my eyes at this and I did it, and you were able to reschedule like a four hour strategic planning session. That would've probably felt like a total slog to sit through.

    Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's just one of those things that I just wouldn't think of. I would just, you know, my day, I think it felt more like instead of my days or weeks are happening to me, I was able to take a bit more control and it wasn't anything, , overly aggressive or time consuming in order to do that, like it didn't take a whole lot of effort, but it was just noticing , oh, I'm like looking at my calendar for August or September and , that week may be challenging. , what can I do to make it less So? Totally.

    In that same lesson. We talk about lots of different energy cycles from your daily energy cycle, do you have the most energy or focus in the morning versus the afternoon versus the evening?

    We think about the week as well. There are a lot of places we'll do like light meeting or no meeting Fridays. That seems to be a thing, right? So, oh, well I'll save my big project work for Fridays, but for a lot of people, Fridays are a low energy day.

    You've just pushed through an entire week. You've worked all week, you've done all the things. And so maybe if you can, where do we find time earlier in the week for that project? Can Friday instead be just. Cleaning out your inbox because that's a little lighter. Mm-hmm. In terms of the mental lift.

    And so we think about all of these different cycles, and again, you can't always change things to accommodate you. You're dealing with colleagues and kids and partners and all sorts of things that just get scheduled when they get scheduled. But where you can, can you move things around? Do you actually have more control than you think you do?

    Or at the very least. Get takeout tonight.

    Exactly. Yeah. And even just like thinking it through the daily, weekly energy levels I think was really helpful too. And I, I think I've got like a pretty good hold, like daily, how that works for me, where I definitely have more energy in the morning and I often try and schedule phone calls in the afternoons because talking with people is more energizing for me than trying to get through hours of deep work at three, 3:00 PM , so , I'll do that. But I think it was interesting looking at the weekly flow and trying to measure , when does my energy dip? And , it, I found, I feel like that it remained pretty constant, which was nice, but I think. These last few weeks and even hearing you talk about Fridays, it, it totally makes sense that by Friday all the things that you've been pushing that you think you're gonna get done on Friday typically get moved to Monday because you just don't have the energy anymore.

    , so I think that's a good reminder for me too of like. Yes, you're, you're right. By the time Friday comes around, you're just so drained from everything that you should try and do. The light work. Yeah, and the light easy calls then, so

    yeah,

    put that on my list for what I'll work on next.

    Yeah, I know. I love it.

    Do you remember what your goals were coming into the program? So everyone sets an individual goal of something that they maybe want to make time and space for, or that they want to be different? , what were yours? I think this

    was another part that was a little, , looser for me because like I said, when I signed up for the group, I didn't feel like I had a really.

    Urgent goal or like, nothing felt broken to me necessarily, but I think what it ended up being was more around, , having a flexible schedule for all my tasks. So knowing, you know, you have this nine to five that you're typically able to be very productive 'cause your daughter's at daycare, but like what does the rest of that day look like?

    Knowing, what time in the morning might you have to get things done? What do the evenings look like? And I think I've just been a lot more intentional about that. Calendar in that schedule, but also really being intentional about keeping it flexible too. Even knowing \ , okay, these are the nights I'm doing bedtime and expecting on my end that yes, I, I'm hoping bedtime's over by eight, but I'm not gonna plan on getting work done starting at eight.

    Like I can maybe do eight 30 to nine 30 and then I need to like, you know, wind down. , so that's even helped just setting my expectations for what's reasonable, , and just keeping it a little loose, knowing I might need to move that to the next day and knowing that that's probably gonna be fine.

    , so I think that's been really nice, just having a better understanding of my calendar and how I work and where I can fit in everything I need to fit in. , But so that, yeah, it was a little bit looser, but I feel like I am. On my way there.

    Yeah. Well, because you also have been navigating, if anybody else listening maybe can relate to this,

    your daughter's wake up Time is variable. I mean, we're recording this in the summer, so I know at least my kids as well. Were going to bed later than normal because the sun is still out. And I mean, this morning I had to wake my youngest up, which never happens, and then he was like, I'm so tired.

    Whereas sometimes we get in a season where it's like, oh, my kid wakes up at 6:00 AM every morning. So I know from that point on we're just getting ready for the day. But when you have that variability of like, I don't know when she's gonna wake up, do I just sit around and wait and do nothing twiddle my thumbs?

    Or do I use that time to do something for me or something for my list and playing, like you said it with that flexibility.

    Yeah, I think in my mind I had a really rigid schedule around that thinking I need to get her up by a certain time so we can leave by a certain time so I can start work by a certain time and then all of a sudden it just clicked of she could just sleep and I could start my workday.

    So I'm just moving things around, , whether I start at nine when I want to or, , and I rarely would even start after that, , because she would be up and out the door by then. But , just because it's not going according to like my anticipated plan, doesn't mean I can't make some adjustments and still get everything done, , in a way that feels good.

    Like I would typically be just like sitting in my office scrolling on Instagram, waiting for her to wake up. All of a sudden it just felt like, such a waste of time thinking I could just clear my inbox in 15 minutes probably. And then that frees up, the hour I have slotted in my calendar that I think it will take me to do later on this morning.

    , so instead of just waiting for those like ideal pockets, those big chunks of time in my calendar, taking the time where I can get it and going a bit more with the flow. , I, I see this meme all the time. That's, it's like I. I can go with the flow. Like I, I can go with the flow, but I need to know what time the flow is, like when it starts, where, where, where's parking, like all the details.

    , so I think I'm really practicing actually, you know, going with the flow a bit more.

    Yeah. And clearing your inbox is such a great task to do in a time like that, because. We can be interrupted.

    Right? Yeah. I think your idea too, that you've talked a lot about, around like interruptible tasks has been really helpful too, of knowing what are the things that I do need to save for focus time when I know I won't be disturbed versus, yeah.

    Emails, I can come back to those at any time. , I mean, there's just so many tasks that I used to think I needed a separate. , dedicated time for that. I really don't that you can come back to laundry, you can come back to dishes. A lot of housework, you know? Yeah,

    totally. So

    I'm curious for your perspective on this. You've done. Some one-on-one coaching with me. What has it been like to be in a group setting with other working moms inside beyond balance?

    I think it's just nice to be able to see others' perspectives and see how they align with yours, and just knowing that you're not going through these challenges.

    Alone, or you're not the only one facing these, which is, I think, comforting, but also frustrating. Like, why do we all have to deal with this? , but it's just, it's nice to see how others have worked through certain things, especially as a mom, seeing people with like older children and seeing, it gets easier in this way, it gets challenging in this way.

    And just being able to connect with other people who have been in your situation or are going through that same situation that you can share some little tips with. , but I think it's just mainly that feeling of, everyone kind of being in that same boat where we're all busy, tired, and just trying to make everything work in the best way possible.

    , and just all like doing our best. And I really do appreciate the Slack community that we have where you can share the wins and challenges and just like little updates here and there. , that's kind of fun too.

    It's so fun. I love. Reading everybody's posts in there and what's happening.

    And we had new kittens this week and somebody else has chickens and all of these random life updates, but also how these things are fitting into everybody's lives. And what's the progress or what's the thing that you tried this week that actually worked? , it's so fun to read.

    Yeah. And I think it's interesting too, seeing people from, you know, people who live in, , a city or in the country or work in, a corporate job versus like a medical field.

    Like it, it's so varied, but the challenges are so similar. , so I think that's kind of cool too, that knowing it's not, you know, if I move , this would be different if I got a different job. It might be different in certain ways maybe, but there would still be something that needs to be,

    adjusted Right.

    Or

    optimized.

    Right. I mean, , I have that perspective because I coach all of you and I mean, the circumstances of everyone's life are so different. But I love in this group setting that you also get a glimpse into what I see, which like you said, is certainly frustrating at times, that wow, there are systemic changes that we could make that would alleviate a lot of this for a lot of us and also.

    I'm not alone. I'm not the only one navigating this or finding this frustrating or finding this challenging. What do you think is next for you in terms of , where do you go from here? What you've taken from this group? You mentioned, your black and white thinking probably will always be a work in progress and, and I think that's great.

    I mean, what else would we do in this life if we didn't have something to always work on? But what comes to mind for you?

    Yeah, I think , my next thing I'm gonna work on is better organizing or structuring like weekend time. , for a long time I think I thought of it as, a relief being kind of like a free for all of the, during those two days.

    And I'm not at that point with, , our daughter where we have, . Sports or , activities yet. So it really is, I mean, we have nap time. That's the, the main factor. , but I think it might be nice to have a little bit of structure on those seemingly like structureless days, especially being someone who likes that kind of routine and structure and knowing what to expect.

    So I think trying to figure out a better way to structure those a bit that doesn't. Feel overwhelming or like we're going from one thing to the next. Like I don't want there to be necessarily any pressure, but more, I think a better sense, , for me of, okay, this is the block of time I have to do what I want to do and you know, my husband might get the morning time and I'll have the afternoons or vice versa.

    , and just thinking about that a bit more and , making it feel good for everybody involved. , especially while we have nap time. 'cause it really does feel like we've got morning time. And then we have afternoon time and then we have like bedtime. Yeah. So it has these nice chunks. , but just structuring that a bit more.

    And it's funny 'cause I've done some coaching before where, it would be like, your weeks work this way from A to Z and then your weekends are just like this big free for all. But like, why do your weekends need to look so different from your normal days? You know, like quote normal days. , and as we were talking through routines and what routines might you add to your life to improve them or adjust that, , kind of past coaching came up and it just made me think, yeah, like why do my weekends need to look so different from my workdays?

    . Especially if I like the rhythm of my workday. It's like, it's not like I'm trying to escape them on the weekends. Yeah. But, , I like the freedom of course, and open. Possibilities. But I think planning them out a little bit would help.

    Yeah. And we have that framework in the group, which you can always come back to the lesson on weekend planning.

    Mm-hmm. In a very flexible way because it is meant to be different, obviously, then the work week. But I do find that. So many women do what you have done, which is like a free for all. It's just open, endless time. We'll figure it out as we go and that can totally work. But a lot of times the one step that can make it feel so different is just deciding like, what do I want out of this weekend?

    What is success? Whether that's from just success for me is I wanna relax and turn into a sloth and do nothing, not leave the house, or I wanna be really social or I wanna get some things done. It's when we don't assign. Any sort of intention to those couple of days that it becomes Sunday night and we're like, wow, what did, what did we really do?

    Yeah. And I think our weekends are busy, but I think for me it comes down to there are certain things I need to do where I do need a little bit of focus alone time. And those are the things that tend to get pushed till after bedtime and then it's, you know. Eight o'clock on a Saturday or eight o'clock on a Sunday, and there's only so much brainpower and energy you have left.

    And those are the days I feel like where you want at 8:00 PM to watch a show. Read a book, take a bath, whatever it is. , so better finding pockets of time to do that deep work I need to do and not feel like it's just the default is, oh, I'll just do it after bedtime.

    Yeah.

    I love that for

    you.

    You can experiment with that.

    Yes, we're gonna try it this weekend. Gonna do some planning. Okay. , I try to put some planning time, like on Thursdays now to connect with my husband and figure out like what does our weekend look like? So we're, adding that to , the cycle of tasks.

    Yeah. I love it.

    That's a great one. As we wrap up, is there anything that you would share to. Someone who is maybe on the fence or thinking about joining, but not sure if this group would be worth it or a good fit for them.

    Yeah, I would definitely not worry about being a good fit, just given that there are so many different types of women in the group and they're all just coming from that same.

    Place of wanting support, wanting, guidance around routines and schedules and time management. So I think it's a like-minded group just, , from the nature of it. Mm-hmm. Um, but I think in terms of getting something out of it, especially in my case where I kind of went in to it loving this idea and , these topics, but not necessarily feeling like I had a big need for improvement at the time.

    I think even going into it that way. You will get something out of it and you'll hear other people and those challenges will resonate with you or those ideas you'll add into the mix of what you're doing now. And there's just always something to learn. And I'm also saving a lot of this for , when I'm in a different season of life and things feel crazy again, I can go back to the lessons and go through them.

    , knowing that it likely won't say this. I don't wanna say stay this calm, but stay maybe this balanced forever. , that will change and I'm glad I'll have some practices in place, , when that happens.

    I love that example so much or that answer so much because that's my hope.

    With any of the coaching work that we do or the lessons in beyond balance, it is meant to be flexible because. Parenting changes our kids change our relationships, change our work environment changes. I mean, you've changed that just since starting the group as well. Right. And. Life is ups and downs and rollercoaster rides all around.

    And so having a foundation like this to come back to and tweak or reassess or update, you're not doing anything wrong if you have to update things, that is the name of the game. And so to have all of that for you, I think is, I've done my work.

    Yeah, it's been great. And I think even just the constant reminders, it's a lot of times where you are like, oh yeah, I used to do it that way.

    Why, why did I stop? Or, you know, something like that in, in terms of a routine or, , whatnot. So I think just having a little reminder about those things is helpful, which, , is something I should probably jot down like, re-review these things, you know, quarterly or annually or something just to make sure I am still keeping up with what I had intended.

    Yeah, yeah. Or an opportunity to re-examine things. Mm-hmm. And see what, what has changed and what used to work that is now not, and Okay, what do I wanna do about that?

    Yeah, absolutely.

    I love this. Thank you so much, Molly. I always love talking with you. This was so fun. You have so many great examples, so thanks for being on the show.

    Yeah, of course. I'm glad I could share my experience and highly recommend the Beyond Balance group for sure. Thank you.

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