What To Do While the Kids Sleep
The kids are down for their naps (miraculously at the same time), or you’ve just put them down for bed and it’s 7:30 at night.
What do you do?
If you said chores of any kind - cleaning, laundry, dishes - YOU’RE WRONG.
But, you might say, “if that time isn’t used for picking up the house or keeping things in order, what is it for?”
“and… when else am I supposed to do those things if not when the kids are sleeping or having quiet time?”
Great questions and I have the answers for you.
The 80/20 Rule
Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule?
I first learned about this term in relation to my wardrobe. It’s the idea that most of us wear just 20% of our clothes, 80% of the time.
A similar philosophy can apply to business. 80% of your results, come from just 20% of your efforts.
It’s crazy to think about! 20% is such a small percentage.
I like to think about it in the way Tiffany Dufu presents it in her book Drop the Ball. When it comes to her time, she asks herself, “Is this the highest and best use of my time"?”
When she’s thinking about household tasks, busy work, etc. she tries to think about the unique value that only she can bring when it comes to being a mom, a wife, and a leader in her career. The other things, the things that someone else could do, either as well as, if not better than she could - for those, she gets help.
Now, I can’t always outsource or get help for all the things that aren’t part of my 20%, but last weekend I thought of another way to apply this thinking.
what can’t you do with your kids?
It was Sunday afternoon and my youngest (remember he’s 18 months - a typical toddler who is into EVERYTHING and needs constant attention and watching) was down for his long afternoon nap. My husband and I were deciding how to spend our time. And my knee-jerk reaction was to start picking up after his messes, to unload the dishwasher, and to fold the laundry.
But instead, I asked myself - What are the things I can’t do with my toddler??
I can’t read (in peace).
I definitely can’t take a nap.
I can’t paint the trim (a house project I’ve been working on bit by bit).
Sure, emptying the dishwasher or folding laundry or cleaning a bathroom with a toddler “helping” is more challenging and takes a little longer, but it’s possible. And I’d rather try that and focus on something that’s a better use of my time than spend every nap and early bedtime cleaning.
Speaking of bedtime, I have gotten into the practice of spending those first 15-20 minutes after the kids go to bed, picking up and doing any must-do chores that didn’t get done during our after-dinner-cleanup routine. After those 20 minutes, though, the rest of that time is for me - for my projects and relaxing.
how do you choose?
So, how do you know what to spend your time on?
You can find the answer by asking the right questions:
When presented with some free time - stop before you jump right into some chores - and ask yourself,
What’s the “highest and best use of my time”?
What’s something only I can do?
What’s something that I can really only do without the kids?
And then, what would feel really good to complete?
Or better yet, what do I feel like doing?
If the chores and tasks are weighing on your mind, list them out. See how many there really are.
Are there things on that list that you could do with the kids nearby or helping?
Or can you set a timer for 15 minutes and cross one of them off the list before you move onto something that’s a better use of your kid-free time?
When I asked myself these questions over the weekend, here’s what I ended up doing with my time:
I painted the door to my office, something I’d been wanting to finish for a long time but can’t do with a toddler around.
I wrote an article for my blog, which for me requires quiet and focus.
And then I laid down on the couch and read.
It was glorious.
And when my toddler woke up soon after, I let him “help” me put away the silverware. He loved it, and I had to redo all of it when he was done, but I didn’t care because I got my time.
just for you
I want you to pick an upcoming weekend or evening when the kids are sleeping or having quiet time, and I want you to do something that you can only do when you’re not with them.
What’s the highest and best use of THAT time?
What would feel really good to complete?
What do you WANT to do?
Resist the urge to do chores or mindless picking up. That’s not the best use of that time.
What will you do, instead, that’s just for you?
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