Two Words Stopping You From Making Massive Change
Do you ever look at another mom’s life and wish for what she has while simultaneously listing off every reason as to why you can’t do what she does?
Just last week I found myself feeling envious of one of my friends. She was heading to dance class...again. I think she goes twice a week.
Oh, what I would give to go to a weekly workout class again. She’s SO lucky.
There’s no way I could do that. Not now with Wyatt being so little. Not with my husband’s job being so stressful. Not with kid bedtimes being so challenging. I just can’t.
Are all of those things really true?
I’ll tell you what IS true. Saying “I CAN’T” is definitely easier than change. It’s easier than creating a new routine. It’s easier than asking my husband to do bedtime solo. It’s easier than actually making working out a priority.
The reality is that my friend has young kids just like me. She and her husband work full-time, just like we do. Her kids can be challenging at bedtime just like mine.
What’s different between the two of us is that she’s not saying I can’t. She’s figured out a way to make it happen. Every Tuesday night. Dance class.
I can do that too, if it’s a priority. I can make it happen. So the question is, what are your priorities? What is important to you?
One of the first exercises that I do with all my clients, is an exercise in figuring out priorities. Priorities for work. Priorities for family. Priorities for YOUR LIFE.
Once you tell me that something is a priority, we’re going to creatively figure out how you can SHOW me that it’s a priority.
So if taking care of your physical health is a priority, we’re going to figure out how to get you working out, eating healthier, or whatever it is that you need.
If finding time for your friends is a priority, we’re going to brainstorm ways to reconnect with existing friends or to create new friendships.
If doing less is a priority, we are going to find things that you can let go of, and then I’m going to hold you accountable while you stop doing those things.
You might tell me you can’t.
That’s normal. It’s a habit for most of us, myself included.
But I’m going to challenge you on that.
Are you SURE you can’t? Or is saying I can’t just a habit? Is saying I can’t easier than letting go of something, of making a change, of saying no, or asking for help?
I get it.
I just caught myself doing the same thing. Saying I can’t.
But whether it’s you challenging yourself about whether you truly can’t. Or whether you need someone else to catch you in the act, make sure that it’s not just habit holding you back.
Making change is worth letting go of old habits.
Living your priorities is worth changing old habits.