Stop Saying "I Just Have To Get Through..."
Do you ever catch yourself saying, “I just have to through X”?
I just have to get through this week.
I just have to get through this phase with my toddler.
I just have to get through this project at work.
I just have to get through today.
You tell yourself that if you get through whatever is tough right now, life will get easier, you’ll have more time, you’ll be happier, more relaxed, more fun.
Life will be better once we’re through this hard stuff.
But the truth is?
There will always be more hard stuff.
There will be another tough parenting phase, where your kid is struggling with some new thing or they’re potty training, or they’re teething, or they’re not sleeping. There will be another challenging project or conversation at work. There will be another week where life feels crazy and you think you’ll never catch up again.
That’s life. The hard times are always going to be there.
Looking ahead or counting down can give you a quick boost of strength or energy. We genuinely think that by “making it through” things will get better.
But what are you missing about RIGHT NOW? What can you learn? What can you appreciate despite what feels hard?
When you tell yourself you just have to get through something, it sends the signal that the now, the short-term, is just to be endured. It indicates that there’s nothing good about the present. The good only exists after you get through it.
What if instead of focusing on what comes next, you focus on what is? Even if it’s hard.
What if you look for the good things?
The project that you’ll get to add to your resume.
The skill that your kid is learning despite what feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
The baby snuggles that you get at the end of your workday.
The tasks that you DO cross off despite the long list.
When you start looking for good, when you ask yourself what’s good about today, or this week, or this season, your mind wants to answer. In fact, you’ll probably be surprised at the number of answers it starts to find when you’re asking what’s good, what’s enjoyable, what’s this teaching me?
Put that question on a note on your laptop. See the reminder, and ask it as often as you see it. What’s good?
Wishing away your days is what makes for regret. Getting through your life is not actually living your life.
Yes, it can be hard. That’s what life is. But it’s also full of good. You just have to remember to look for it instead of wishing it away.