Episode 47: Plan Now, Relax Later: Creating Your Summer Bucket List In Advance
ITUNES | SPOTIFY
If you've ever gotten to the end of the summer and wondered where the time went, this episode is for you! Learn a simple five-step process to help you create a meaningful summer that fits into your working mom schedule without the stress or pressure to do it all. A summer bucket list is a way to add fun and novelty to the season while also keeping expectations realistic given the time and energy that you have.
Stop letting the summer just "happen to you" and instead have fun and create memories without taking on too much. This episode is perfect for working moms who want to balance structure and spontaneity and just have more fun!
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
Share your bucket list with me on IG @lovemothernurture
Or send me an email katelyn@themothernurture.com
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You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.
Hey, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. How are you today? Time is flying. I wanna talk today and encourage you today to think in advance. And start to do some preparation for summer. And I know if you're listening to this in real time, it's only the middle of May. Just a couple of episodes ago, we were talking about Maycember and making it through all the things, especially if you have school age kids with the end of the school year wrapping up and just everything that happens in this month of transition.
But I I want to encourage you to take what I'm going to share today and take some action with it, because here's what I notice happens, at `least for me personally and for many of my clients as well, we. Truly have to just take things day by day as we go through this season of transition and there's so much happening and so we just hunker down, if you will, to get things done, and then we resurface as you do at the end of any busy season, you resurface.
And the next season is already here. The next stage, the next thing is already upon you, and you spend a couple of those first weeks in that new season or that new stage, just getting your feet under you, again, acclimating to what is here now. And I do that so often. I'll wait until the end of May, if it's Maycember, or I'll wait until after the holidays.
Before I start thinking about what's next. And this year, I wanna try to think ahead a little bit earlier. And so even though I haven't quite wrapped my mind around the fact that summer is here in a few weeks, that school will be ending for us next Thursday. Maybe for you, you're going after Memorial Day.
But still, I wanna challenge myself. To start thinking now because honestly, there are some things that I could be doing now to set myself, to set our family up, to set my work up for success this summer. So I wanna talk today about the idea of not necessarily a plan where you have things scheduled in and there's a working task list that you are using to
To make progress on what is coming. But I like to think of summer because, you know, summer has a vibe. It is a little bit more relaxed. There's maybe some more flexibility, things are more fluid. , we just have those like lazy days of summer vibes, at least from when we were still a child. And so I like to think about planning for summer in the framework of a bucket list.
So all of this I should share, if I can do a quick story break here for a minute. All of this was really born for me out of this story that I told myself for years that I am not a summer person. Like summer is not my favorite season. I love fall the best. It's when my birthday is. I like the back to school.
I love and thrive if you couldn't guess on routines and structure. And summer to me feels like the opposite of all of those things that I love and I always feel a little out of my element in summer, unsure of how to really enjoy it and. All of my clients will know that so much of our coaching work is on challenging those stories that we tell ourselves, challenging the assumptions and the beliefs about what we can and can't do, or how working motherhood has to look or what is possible.
And so I decided to take my own coaching a couple of years ago and practice. Loving summer to start to challenge the belief that I'm not a summer person and to become someone who thrives in all of the seasons. In different ways. So this idea of a bucket list was appealing to me. I love to Sure.
Set a goal, create a plan, and so I thought, why not create a bucket list for our summer? What are some fun things that we could do?
And the trick I think I. Going into any season with a goal or a list or a plan, is that it has the potential to feel like yet another thing you have to do. Yet another checklist. Maybe there's some pressure that comes with needing to check things off or some overwhelm as you try and do all of the things on the list. And so there's hesitation to really make plans or create a bucket list because what if. You can't do it. What if you can't follow through? Or what if the unexpected comes up, right? Something big happens in the summer or in whatever season you are looking ahead to and creating your plan for things don't go according to plan, and then you end up feeling disappointed or guilty that you couldn't follow through, let alone like managing those expectations with your kids. And these are real concerns.
I get that. And I think was a huge part of why I didn't create a lot of plans for our summers either beyond just what was childcare going to look like or were we taking a vacation or not.
But there is so much to be gained by transitioning into any season, into any stage with intention. That simply means thinking ahead a little bit, choosing how you want to spend your time as opposed to just letting life happen to you, which is what ends up happening when you are not proactive. So I want to share with you this framework and encourage you to think about how to do this for yourself
because with a realistic approach and well-managed expectations, it is possible to create an intentional summer and not feel overwhelmed by more things that you have to do. So this will be the third summer that I have guided, helped our family create a summer bucket list that is fun and exciting for my kids.
That is realistic for me and for my husband, and fun for all of us really to have something to look forward to, to think about, and to again. Use this time intentionally. Instead of getting to the end of the summer, and realizing that everyone's going back to school.
We're going back to our routines and. Did we even do any of the things that we wanted to do? Did we make our summer count in? Whatever that looks like to us. So I'm gonna walk you through the process that I use with my family, that I would offer that you could borrow for your family, and creating a realistic and a relaxed summer bucket list.
So you have some plans and some intentions to create a season that. Looks in whatever way you need this season to look for you. Okay, so there are five steps that I think about as I'm creating our family bucket list, and I wanna walk you through each of those here. The first one is to look at your calendar and take inventory of everything that is already planned.
So you might think that maybe you've not done any planning yet, that you have no idea what the summer's going to look like, but my guess is there are already things that are popping up on your calendar. So do you have a vacation booked or some travel perhaps? Do you have any summer camps on the calendar?
Are you visiting family or do you have any traditions for different holidays that happen throughout the summer? Do you have work, travel, work projects and deadlines? May be a date night scheduled already, a birthday party invitation, family birthdays, what is already on your calendar? Because when we think bucket list, maybe in the traditional sense, I think our minds often go to creating a list of new things, things that we want to experience and try, but in a realistic list as we need to create as working parents.
It is not just about the new or the novel. Your list can also include things that are already on the calendar. So I'll give you an example. Every year for the 4th of July, our neighborhood does this amazing quirky parade and we have the neighbors over for a potluck. Grill out afterwards and we just hang out in our backyard because we're just a block or two off of the parade route.
It's perfect. Well, I am counting on doing that. We're already planning on doing that. So that goes on our bucket list for the summer host 4th of July neighborhood party. I don't have to add it. It's not something new I need to do and take care of. I'm already gonna do it, but I still get to put it on the bucket list because it is something we choose to do that creates a season that we love.
We love to entertain. We love to be in community with our neighbors. We love to see the kids just like running wild in the backyard through the alley into our neighbor's backyards, with the sprinkler and the water balloons or whatever we decide to do. And so. That is a part of creating the kind of summer that we want.
So all of that to say, it doesn't have to be something new that you have to find time for or create space for on your calendar. It can be something that you're already planning to do. Then once you've added , the things that are already on your calendar onto the bucket list, the next thing I like to do is to ask everyone in the family to add one wish, one wish to the list.
That's a tongue twister. One wish to the list. Now my kids are old enough to do this, but I'm thinking back to if this is the third summer, my youngest was. Three when we first started it. So even if your kids are young, you can still encourage them in whatever is age appropriate to think about something fun that they wanna do.
And even if they can't contribute yet to the list, maybe you contribute something on their behalf that you think they would really love. And what I love about this question is that it's often surprising what your kids will say. Maybe my oldest wants to do something a little bit bigger, but I remember years in the beginning, my daughter just wanted to go to a splash pad and my youngest was happy just getting ice cream, right?
It's nothing. Large scale, super expensive. Need a whole weekend to accomplish. It can be anything. And so as long as it is within reason, I'm not gonna take an entire vacation or trip because it's the one thing one of my kids wants to do. But as long as it's within reason, it goes on the list. And what I want to reinforce here is that the value in asking this question, it's not about what they choose, it's just that they get to choose.
That they get to contribute something and then it's something that they can look forward to. And when we do actually go to the splash pad or get ice cream or pick blueberries or whatever it is, we get to thank the person who put that on the list. They get to be acknowledged for their great idea because we're out doing something fun that they chose.
Now I also want to stress how important it is that you as the parent, as the adult, if you have a partner, a co-parent with you, someone else who is an important part of your family, have them add their wishlist item to your bucket list as well. So I get to put something, my husband gets to put something.
All right. So we've started with what we're already planning to do, and then each person gets to put one thing on the list as long as it's within reason. I. We're good to go.
Number three or step three then is to include the small everyday things. Now, you could certainly just stop there. Maybe your list is plenty full, and as you review it, you're thinking, wow, yeah, this is going to make for a great summer, or the type of summer that we want as a family. But if you have the desire to add some other items, don't forget to include small everyday things that probably just naturally are a part of summer anyway.
So I'm gonna rattle off a few ideas from our lists in the past. Things like a family bike ride or picnics, or a family movie night, which we do every Friday anyway. Maybe we just take it outside, if that's an option. Trying out a new. Ice cream place, taking a hike, making homemade popsicles, having friends over for dinner, catching fireflies, or perfecting a margarita recipe,
these little things add up to one amazing season, and they are so much easier to fit into your schedule and your budget, and so. Don't discount the value and the impact of those small everyday things that you can put on the list and have the, fun and excitement of checking off as well.
It's like the. Big bang for your buck kind of experiences. And again, just normalizing that to create an intentional season, to have fun or to be present or create memories. It doesn't have to be anything huge. It is more about being proactive and being intentional.
Step four then, and step five are more like administrative steps that I do after I've considered everybody's wishlist items. Maybe we've brainstormed as a family, some of those small everyday things that we can put on the list. Then I look at the calendar. All right. So when does school let out if you have school aged kids or perhaps, you know, what does childcare or daycare look like over the summer?
Do you have any? I don't know. I remember when we had a nanny and she would have vacation as well. What are these things that are happening? And I know for us this year, our school is changing their schedule, so we. We actually do have a longer summer than we usually do, and when I talk about it and say, oh my gosh, we're getting out next Thursday, and they don't go back until late August, that feels so long and expansive.
I start to, before I've made this plan, really worry about how am I gonna fill all this time? It's so long, but as I look at the calendar and I add in. Our commitments and work things that we do have coming up because my husband and I don't get the summers off. We put those commitments, we put the summer camps, we put all these other activities, and I start to look at the calendar. It does fill up. And so for anything that is not a quick and easy game time decision, like a bike ride or watching a movie, for example, I start to pencil those things into the calendar.
Like, when might we have friends over for dinner? When, might we go try out this new ice cream place or take a hike? Those have to be for us in the evening or on the weekend when we're not working. And so I just start to lightly pencil in some options . I will start with each person's wishlist item.
So if there is or happens to be something that is maybe a bigger activity that is going to take a little bit of preparation. Like, I'll give you an example. My summer bucket list item, even though we haven't made the bucket list yet for this summer, I know that I wanna take my kids and go to a Cincinnati Reds game baseball.
And as I was looking quickly at the calendar, I. There's like an ideal game that's happening right after school is out. The time is right, the date is right. There's a firework show afterwards, like it couldn't be more perfect. So we went ahead and put that on the calendar and bought tickets for it,
so those bigger trips and activities start to find the slots of where that might fit, and then sprinkle in the rest of the smaller things as options. Again, the calendar might feel long, the season might feel long, but we all know time goes so fast, and so plan ahead and think about where things might fit so that you don't miss out on somebody's wishlist item or
find that it's already the end of August and you just ran out of time. Last step, step five, give yourself some space, give your calendar some space and breathing room. I end every one of my X number step plans with this, but it's so important. You are coming off of, for most of us, a very, very busy season.
The last thing you want to do \ is head into another jam packed season, and so space and breathing room, especially if that is the type of summer you want to have, if your intention is to have a relaxed summer. You need space to relax. It's okay if you have to go back to your original bucket list and eliminate or consolidate.
Maybe you mark some things as optional, these would be icing on the cake if we can fit it in, but at the very least, we're gonna do each person in the family's wishlist item, and then anything else is just bonus. I would much rather. Reset expectations at the start of the season, then get to the end and feel disappointed or have my kids feel disappointed.
It is okay to do less. It is okay to leave more space than you think you need. Having this list is not about filling every available day or slot or time block on the calendar. It is about doing the things that you will look back on and smile about. It's about the memories. It is about the season that feels good.
And those memories need some space to breathe, to make them meaningful, to allow them to land and really sink in. And so this last step is about making sure. That your expectations, that the family's expectations are in line with reality. And if not, make those shifts now. Be proactive in setting those expectations.
Now, I will probably always love autumn the best. But I really have come to appreciate summer for what it is, and I think that is in large part to this process, to not just being so relaxed about summer that I let it just happen to me, but by choosing. What I want, what is actually fun for me?
What is fun for my kids? What do they want out of this summer on this break from school? And is there a way that we can collaborate as a family to create a season that we look back on and feel like we really spent that time well, we spent that time intentionally so. I know it's busy right now, and I know it might feel like one more thing to create this list, but it can be just a simple conversation that perhaps you start now at the dinner table or over breakfast or in the car while you're driving somewhere, and you just start to ask everyone, Hey, what are you thinking about doing this summer?
If you had to choose one thing, what do you wanna be sure we do this summer? And you can have some ideas ready if they're not sure. And again, start with those little everyday things that don't take a ton of planning or a lot of money to orchestrate and figure out and just start the conversation as you have five minutes here, there, pull out the calendar and start to get a sense for what is coming and what is here.
I like to, and I will probably be doing this week, I grab a scrap piece of paper, a marker from the art table, and I write Denning summer bucket list 2025 across the top, and I'll just put it up on the fridge with a magnet as a visual reminder for me that this is something I want to do. Doesn't have to be a big sit down or a large chunk of time.
It can be something that you start to build now so that when we get to the end of Maycember. We're not surprised that summer is already here. We've got at least an idea, if not a plan in place for creating a season that we feel really good about.
Okay. I am so excited for you to try this out. Test this out. If you do, I would love to see a picture of your summer bucket list or to hear what's on your list. Please send me a message on Instagram @lovemothernurture, or an email. At, , katelyn@themothernurture.com. As always, you can find everything that I've referenced here in the podcast over in the show notes at themothernurture.com/podcast.
And if you enjoyed today's episode, you want to encourage a friend or a colleague to think about their summer intentions, please share it. Leave me a rating and review. I so appreciate your support and your word in getting this podcast out to more working moms who need it. Alright, I will talk with you in the next episode.
Until then, take care.
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