We Always Have a Choice
There's nothing quite like the after-work (evening) hours for testing your patience. Am I right, or am I right?
I mean, you get the kids home from school/daycare after a long day of work. Your mind is full of ideas and unfinished tasks, but you mentally set them aside (or try to) and get started on dinner because everyone is hangry.
You've got pans on the stovetop, veggies on the cutting board, spices and dishes scattered across the counter, and all around you...
the kids are bickering and whining,
the toddler is insisting on "helping",
and you've lost track of how many times you've been asked for a snack.
Then, as if right on cue, someone spills the entire box of pasta across the floor!!!!!
Do you...
Lose it? Yelling at everyone to "get out of the kitchen and leave me the heck alone?!?"
Or take a deep breath and calmly ask for help picking up the spilled noodles (5-second rule in full force)?
It may not feel like you have a choice. In the middle of all the chaos, it can feel like the only option is to snap. After all, how will they even hear you if you don't yell?!
But there's always a choice.
It's a Practice
I see patience as a practice.
Instead of saying that you're either patient or you're not, what if you're just practicing patience?
What if every chaotic moment, toddler meltdown, or argument was just another opportunity to practice the skills you so desperately want to cultivate? Skills like:
Pausing to respond instead of rushing to react.
Taking a deep breath to remind yourself of the choice you have.
Remembering that their feelings are valid too.
Believing that this is exactly how it's meant to be.
Will you always remember to practice or will your practice be perfect every time? Heck no!
But you can learn from that too, and so will your kids.
They will start to see the commitment that you have to changing the way you react.
They'll feel the calmer, more relaxed you and be drawn to it.
They'll understand that we always have a choice, even when it feels like we don't.
What amazing lessons for us all to learn.
If you could use some solid tactical ideas for practicing patience with your family, schedule a free discovery session so we can chat about your needs and my ability to help!