Make it Personal
Do you ever feel like the things that you read about in the news seem a bit abstract? Like concepts you understand but aren’t quite sure how they apply to your own life?
That is, until you find out you know someone with a personal connection to that topic.
Covid-19 is a perfect example. You can understand the significance of the pandemic, but it still sometimes seems like something that’s happening to other people.
That is… until your friend tests positive. Or your co-worker, or your grandparent.
Now it’s real and you want to better understand it and what you can do.
To a lot of people, the impossible reality that working parents, especially working mothers, are facing with the pandemic is something that they read about, but is happening to other people.
But what if they knew someone living that reality? What if they understood, on a personal level, the impact this is having?
“I don’t have the answer,” you might be thinking. And I’m not asking you to.
I’m asking you to do something much simpler. I’m asking you to make it personal…
We’re All Tired
Last week a New York Times article went viral… Well, it went viral in the working parent circles that I’m a part of.
Did you read it? “In the COVID-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Can’t Have Both.” (by Deb Perelman)
There were so many honest, and sad truths about how impossible it is to home-school or provide childcare and work. Why isn’t anyone talking about this? Because we’re too “fried” and too tired to “funnel our rage”. Perelman says that we’re not burned out because life has been hard this year. It’s because “we’re being rolled over by the wheels of an economy that has bafflingly declared working parents inessential.”
She also went on to state one of my own worries, and that’s that working mothers feel they are being pushed out of the labor force or into part-time positions. She acknowledged that there is an idea “out there” that you can walk away from careers and just pick up right where you left off. I think we all know that’s harder than it sounds.
Perelman closes the article with, “it’s outrageous, and I fear if we don’t make the loudest amount of noise possible over this, we will be erased from the economy.”
I’ll give you a minute to let all of that sink in…
I’m guessing you’re here because you’re a working parent. And I’m also going to assume that you too, are tired.
Paint a Picture
So what exactly am I proposing?
I want you to tell your story…
…to a colleague, a friend, a neighbor, your parents’ - someone who doesn’t have first-hand experience with what it’s like to work and have kids during a global pandemic.
For those people, at best, this pandemic has been an inconvenience. They have to wear a mask, they can’t go as many places, or see as many people.
They probably don’t understand what life actually looks like for a working mom.
How you’re allowing more screen time than ever before. How you’re logging on early in the morning and late at night just to keep up with the work. How exhausting it all is.
Paint them a picture.
Not a scary picture, or one that’s full of complaining. But a picture of reality.
Because they know you. You are a real person - someone in their life who is experiencing this impossible task of working and teaching or working and providing childcare. You’re not just a story in an article in the New York Times.
Be Specific
And to your colleagues and your boss, if you can, be specific. When you say you’ll get to that task tonight, be more specific. “I’ll log on tonight after the kids go to bed when I put in my midnight shift.”
Or “I can’t join the call at that time because I’ll be putting my son down for a nap.”
Or maybe you can say, “I’m looking into options for childcare, but honestly, there is no good solution. Here’s what I’ve explored so far…”
Some people might not care to understand or respect the position that you’re in, but again, you are someone they know. And hearing your story might just plant the seed. Make them think twice, or think about it at all.
Make them think
I don’t have the answers. It’s an incredibly tough time for everyone.
I understand that jobs still need to be done, that we need paychecks, that businesses still need to operate, and that safety must come first.
But I think we need to be having these honest conversations about what life looks like for us, outside of our moms groups and outside of our circle of friends.
You are valuable. Working parents are valuable. And working moms in particular.
Share your story, your reality.
Make it personal.
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